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| My "Blair Witch" Project |
I am having one hell of a moody Monday
and I wish I could just snap out of it now! It's not fair to Olivia
who's just wanting some attention and it's not fair to Jim who only
does EVERYTHING for us to deal with my attitude too. I just suck. I
won't be stuck on this pity party for the entire post though, so
don't worry! I have actually just finished a huge filler card bundle
for this weeks freebie Friday and I'm just too excited to release it
to you all. I am half tempted to post it today but then what the hell
would we do for THIS coming Friday? ;) I actually have been working
on a few more templates and fun stuff for you all too, so that does
make the temptation that much worse haha. I will have a few craft
tutorials up soon too (finally!!) including a cute Christmas wall
hanging that I think is adorable, however my husband says looks like
a Blair Witch Project lol. Asshole.
Jim did just take Olivia to my brothers
to hang out for a bit, so I'll drop the asshole comment. She loves
going to her “Rah-Rah's!” He has a few dogs over at his house
that she just adores, she talks about them for hours after she gets
home from playing over there. Olivia just loves all animals though
and even after being bit, scratched and hissed at has still not found
a fear of any particular one just yet a bit to my dismay. I wish
she'd just realize when the cats/dogs are done playing. She has been
making me laugh a lot lately, her new favorite phrase is baby sister.
She points to Riley's photo and says “that my baby sisser!” Rubs
my belly and exclaims “my baby sisser in there” and it just warms
my heart! I can't wait for her to really get to see her little
sisser, I know that she is going to be the greatest big sister to her
ever!
I have an appointment tomorrow with a
non-stress test and ultrasound on the agenda. I'm thrilled to be
getting another ultrasound, more so to check on the placenta and to
see that everything in there is going alright. I constantly worry
about how she's doing, what's going on, whats going to go on... I
just hate the unknown and to me pregnancy is very much the unknown.
You can prepare anyway you want, be as healthy as can be, have
everything going according to plan and still lose it all. That scares
the shit out of me and totally makes me feel moody again so maybe
I'll shy away from that conversation right now too. I just have to
put my faith and trust into God and Riley knowing they'll take care
of everything. They'll take care of us and this little baby that we
all love so so so much already.
My belly has been so hard and tight
lately. I never felt this way with Riley or Olivia, so I'm chalking
it up to third pregnancy woes and possibly braxton hicks. I don't
feel like I ever really felt contractions in my previous pregnancies
either, so I don't have those memories to compare them to. I was
induced with Riley but had so many other drugs to keep me calm/out of
it that that birth will always feel surreal. With O, I had a
scheduled C-Section due to her breech position, however she decided
she was going to come earlier than that (still breech) so we had an
emergency section before I ever went into actual labor. I had a GREAT
recovery after my section and am very ready to do it all over again
in January. I'm super ready for those damned tubes to be tied too, I
love my children but could never survive another pregnancy!
I should be taking advantage of Jim and
Olivia's time out by getting some work done around the house and
mayyyybe I will in a bit, but I think I'm going to crash out on the
couch for a while before that. I'm so freaking tired, stressed and
(if it's not obvious) a bit air-headed today so a nap sounds
fantastic! I hope you are having a better Monday than this, and if
not, that you too can sneak in a nap to shut it all off for a little
bit. Adios.
