Hola, Me llamo Chelsea Shinkle.

I feel like I've written one too many about me's in the past few years. It almost makes me feel like I don't even know the real me sometimes, when the words I attribute to myself are just constantly changing. I guess that is life though and life sure did throw me something I have to bend and mold around when I found out I am pregnant again for the third time!

So where to start? Well, my name is Chelsea and I am 23 years old. I have a husband, two children and another on the way with a life built around an illness; For nearly the past five years I have been puking.

I guess the real start would begin after my husband Jim and I had been together for about two years. It was February 2009 and I had just found out that we were expecting our first child. We were elated, however I suffered early, long and HARD with Hyperemesis Gravidarum, a debilitating pregnancy related illness that left me and my family broken. I lost 40 pounds while pregnant, basically lived in the ER, the pain and puking were relentless until the very end and, unfortunately, beyond. In August 2009, I delivered our beautiful 4lb, 13oz angel into this world and directly into Heaven. Riley Virginia was stillborn due to a silent placental abruption. This tragic loss left me and my husband reeling in pain, in mourning and financially drained from the inability to work through the horrid sickness AND the incredible prices of medications that would only slightly help my condition. 2009 was and always will be the very worst year of my entire life, however it taught me so much about strength and family that I'll always cherish.

Jim, Riley & I - August 21st, 2009

I was supposed to go back to "normal" after birth. I kept puking. I would get just as ill as I did while pregnant only without insurance, I was unable to get any sort of proper help. I was sick, depressed from our loss and only finally got into a low income doctor after their long waiting list allowed entry. I was shocked when I was told I was depressed and bulimic. Uh, no sir, I assure you, aside from the warranted depression I'm experiencing, I have NO desire to do this to myself. I may be wrong, but I thought bulimia was something people had control over, MADE themselves do. This diagnosis, or lack of, made me shy away from any sort of help for a long time.. I thought I must be crazy or thought they'd think I was.

Jim and I married in early 2010 and decided to work on getting healthy and stable before introducing another baby into the picture, although both our longing for a child (well, for Riley) was so strong it physically hurt. We loved, we laughed, we grew stronger and fell more in love while dealing with the sickness that would come and go and come and go and come... We finally found a doctor who after many tests found that my gallbladder only had an ejection fraction of 1% which is basically just a non functioning organ at that point. He ordered I have it removed immediately. A few days before my scheduled surgery, I was extra violently sick and went to the ER who knew me by name at that point. We were shocked when we found out we were expecting our second child! Terrified, really, and wouldn't let ourselves get excited feeling like this was going to end the same was as our first.

A lot of drama surrounded that first part of my pregnancy, with doctors urging me to terminate what they believed was an ectopic pregnancy, to my once again hellacious vomiting that would last days, to having to decline surgery until after my pregnancy to avoid any risk to my unborn.. It was so stressful and if there was any enjoyment in my pregnancy at all, it was when I finally laid eye on my beautiful Olivia Mae on May 28th 2011. She was, is, perfect. She's beautiful, so smart, such a little brat, HILARIOUS already and just brings a smile to anyone who sees her. She is my sunshine, my pride and joy, I could go on and on and on but if you are a mother, you already know what I am getting at. Any sickness at all was worth creating such a perfect child.

Taken by the fabulous Two Photography

Olivia's life gave mine and Jim's something to strive for, something to make us become better people. She repaired the hope that our loss had damaged and has given me so many gray hairs already, if you can believe it. In her short life, she's had to deal with a lot of poking and prodding too. We were seeing an oncologist for quite a while after a spot on her liver caused some alarms, but after a few intense months, she was given a clean bill of heath which definitely took a huge load off of my chest. Her health came before mine, and always will, but it did come at a price. By the time I finally got my gallbladder taken out in December of 2012, it was literally dead. Soupy *barf. They sent me on my way, in more pain than my c-section, to recover from what was supposed to be the end of this hell I'd been living with for so long.

Oh, how I wish that were the end of it. I was hospitalized four or five more times for my violent puking episodes. I had been seeing the hospital closest to me who have given me sooooooooooooooooooo many reasons as to why this is happening to me. After lots of tests, I was told I had a sever intestinal blockage that was causing all of this. I had tubes shoved down my nose and throat and disgusting liquid poured into my stomach between my retching and I literally though I was going to choke to death. I was begging for help, for them to take it out or do something I was going to die and finally an angel of a nurse said enough was enough and saved me. I might be sounding dramatic but I don't think I've ever felt so close to death as then. After that I discharged myself and went to deal with my illness alone since the alternative terrified, HORRIFIED me.

I tried a few natural probiotics, ate well-ish and eventually was back to being so sick I was being forced to the ER. We decided to try a brand new hospital farther away and it was probably the best thing we ever did. Tests, CT's, X-Rays and blood tests showed zero blockage, zero infection, zero ANYTHING that the other hospital had kept throwing out there. They did, however, say they highly suspect Celiac Disease after elevated antibodies in my blood. The doctor there talked with me for a long time about the symptoms and it sounded just. like. me. I couldn't believe it. Everything she said, all the triggers that could make things worse, it was all there. She said I need to go to a specialist for further testing, but that a gluten free diet would be very helpful.

Since that "diagnosis," I have been doing very well with the whole Gluten Free shizz and can already see a difference so I don't doubt that the doctor's diagnosis was finally right, or at least a lot closer to being on the right track. This was a great feeling, I had been gluten free for quite a while and felt so much better... until.. you guessed it..

Pregnant again. I found out this past May that I am expecting yet again...NUMERO TRES!?! We were TOTALLY 100% shocked to find out that we were going to be going through all of the terrifying joy all over again, especially when my HG was back with a vengeance for this third and most definitely final pregnancy. We had just made a tremendous move to Arizona literally right before we found out, so back to Idaho we went to give this baby the best start possible with my high risk OB who went above and beyond with my last pregnancy. Things have been so freaking crazy since finding out about this third baby, we're basically running with heads cut off this time around but everything is coming together and our lives will be so full and complete when little baby whatever-we-end-up naming gets here.

I guess that about brings ya up to date. I don't know if that can be considered much of a summary, but if you've made it this far bravo! Now, here I am, 30 weeks pregnant, super sick and deciding to broadcast it to the world in hopes of reaching others like me. Other pregnant ladies dealing with HG. Other families who've had a loss similar to mine. Other gluten free fat kids who still drool at the thought of donuts. Others who just want to listen or have me listen, since I know how much that can mean to someone when they so desperately want an ear. I want to hopefully come back and look at these first few days, weeks, months of these new trials and see that even though this is probably one of the hardest things I'll have ever done, AGAIN, it will have been the most beneficial when I am living the life I crave so badly with my happy healthy family and our angel watching over us. Definitely a life without so much damned puke!

Thank you so much for reading, for learning a bit about me and hopefully for following along on my sure to be explicit parenting adventures!!